Der Philosoph

Rembrandt Harmensz. van Rijn, 29 × 33 cm , Musée du Louvre

Causes of Death for Some of the Great Philosophers


Thales: Drowning
Parmenides: It wasn't anything at all
Ockham: Cut while shaving
Russell: Cut while being shaved by one who did not shave himself
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Darwin: Natural causes
Hume: Unnatural causes
Kant: Transcendental causes (although it was his own idea)
Paley: By design
Heidegger: By Dasein
Meinong: Climbing accident
Neurath: Boating accident
G.E. Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Sheffer: Stroke
Sartre: Nausea
Pascal: Became despondent after losing a wager
Wittgenstein: Tried to see if death was an experience one lived through. (Alternate: fell off a ladder)
Hegel: Collision with owl at dusk

Stiv Fleishman, "From the Editor," Ethics, Volume 104, Number 2 (January 1994), page 225